Singled Out

Ahhhh yes the topic a few are curious to know... and on top of that just the question I laugh at everytime I hear it "Why is someone like you single?" and yes in that exact way is the way many seem to apply that question to me "someone like me" well honestly never really asked what people mean when they say "someone like me" but obviously they consider me of some sort of distinctive individual... either way here is my detailed answer to that curious question "why is Daddy single" lol...

Well as most of you guys know that its been almost 2 years since my last relationship with the guy that I have said before and will say it again, and know I have no problem saying it because its the truth... that its been 2 years since my last relationship with the guy who honestly changed my life for good... and that relationship left me with a huge impact that I think I would consider it a permanent mark in my past... for the good and some may say for the bad... lets start with the good, good well because I learned through that experience to love myself because aint NOBODY ever gonna love you like you "should" love yourself... NOBODY...

Through that relationship I learned that the one you could honestly give your heart and everything to can easily be the one to take it all away... in this world we live in today there are many people who will think of themselves before they think of anybody else and at times will keep shit from you that can truly hurt you... one should always get to know someone very well before deciding to let that person in their life and beyond that give that person all of you TRUST ME. There are many people out there with a cold heart, a selfish soul, evil mind and cruel intentions... its really your own responsibility to look out for you and only you... one has to have their guard up before letting anybody in their life because its exactly that, your life... someone can easily come into your life and selfishly think of themselves and get what they want and next thing you know they leave you with a broken heart or much worse with some kind of STD that you are stuck with the rest of your life... that person is long gone and your are left with the scar and health condition you will deal with the rest of your life... really people think about it before you decide of who you choose to love...

Now on the bad side of it, well what I think some might consider this a bad thing... I have always been a man who isnt afraid to express his honest feelings... I've said this before and I'll say it again... X did leave me with a bitter taste in my mouth... I can say I got over it but deep down inside I still have a bit of bitterness in my mouth... how do I know well whenever I come across someone who says "I'm from NY" or say "I'm puertorican" my guard automatically goes up and that little red flag shoots right up... I know that is the worst thing to do from a bad past experience and I cant go off of one persons mistake and hold everybody whos puertorican or from NY accountable for that one persons fuck up... yes I understand that but I think because of the degree of the damage he caused me I think this will take me more time to actually get over... I know some may say 2 years is a long time but I have always said the heart takes time to heal... and when I'm ready I'm sure I'll be able to put it all behind me... trust me I know how it works... I just "choose" to deal with it in through a very slow process... I have tried and tried to not let that interfere with meeting other people of Puertorican or NY decent but everytime its the same thing... and again... these are my true feelings so please dont judge me on it... I know its what I'm doing but its my healing process... things take time...

I'mma say this real quick... I dont judge the people of NY or Puertoricans, I have good friends who are both and one day would still LOVE to go visit NY... one of the first places I would go in a heart beat because I know its a very beautiful city and its a city I would love to go visit... and as far as Puertoricans... I have a close friend who is Puertorican and she's one of my favorite chicas to be around... she has the biggest heart I have ever known... she is as any other Puertorican, BEAUTIFUL... they are people full of flavor, love and culture yes I know this I know this deep down inside... and I love people who are like me... with flavor for life... and trust me Puertoricans got lots of it... so again this is all a part of my healing process... I know in life some people take a bit longer to get over things it all depends on the strength of the person and as well as the degree of the experience... mine was a deep and powerful experience...

Trust me when I say I have come a LONG way from when we first broke up... I got over the tears, the hate, the anger towards him... well at least the tears... I had to get it all out and I sure did... FUCK MAN that shit hurt to have had the chance to finally fall madly in love with a man who gave me everything... who was my "perfect" idea of a partner... he sure did give me everything but when he dropped the bomb on me is when it all seemed to fade away... the perfect guy I had fallen in love with became my worst enemy... but again, I moved on... I left that in the past and became at peace with the fact that he was the one I fell in love with and he was also the one who pretty much scared my past for good... he was by far the ONLY guy that broke my heart... and I think that is why the story behind us will stay with me for the rest of my life...

Well beyond all of that... after that break up I told myself I would never go through that again and be a better judge of character... and I have been ever since... not only that but never again did I have unprotected sex... for those that never read my story... real quick, my ex kept the secret of being HIV + for a whole month and a half before admitting to me he had already known for 4 years... we had already been having unprotected sex and he waited that long to confess to me after we had already been a couple for a month and a half... and that is why this has taken me so long to get over... it was a huge impact in my life... so yes after that relationship I never took myself and my health for granted ever again... Ive had my sexual experiences since then but I have been sure to play it safe trust me that taught me to value my shit even more now... but beyond the sex... it has taught me to value myself and my life all in its existence completely that is why when I say I have high expectations its in no meaning of thinking I am better then anybody or look down on any body... it simply means I expect a lot out of a person who I choose to let in my life on that level...

My expectations are very particular and thats what I like to consider myself... a very particular man, I dont like to say "picky" because that word is incorrect... I dont think anybody deserves the right to be picky... particular yes... and that is what I am... people may be curious of what all this expectations consist of well shit I'll tell ya... and when I say particular I mean PAR-TI-CULAR lol... I have come too far to let another mothaphuka "try" to fuck it up for me... I am a man of lots of values and morals and good nature, well its what I consider myself as... and again its my perception... so judge me if you want or disagree with me but its "my" perception on my expectations... I honestly believe one needs to have a bit of expectations or else life will short change you...

So here it is... my expectations in a guy... my ultimate guy... and before I let ya know just know that I understand that there is no such thing as a perfect guy out there yes I know this but these are the things I appreciate in a guy... as far as personality many of you already know this but personality wise... they NEED to be very affectionate, catering, attentive, this is a big one for me intellectually inclined, need to have family values, VERY passionate about life and passionate about love, humor is always a good one for me, religious isnt too big but would love it if they were or at least spiritually centered, strong willed about himself, always love a guy whos not afraid to be sexually open in bed with me because in a relationship sex to me is a huge part and to be satisfied is a necessity to me and I'm sure that's for anybody, love a guy with flavor in their step meaning I love a guy who has moves in his hips attitude in his walk and love in his mind, a guy who is down for his man and will have my back at any given time, NEED a guy who knows how to cook, clean and all in between yes I guess I love me a little house wifey kinda guy basically... and yes I'll admit thats where the name "Daddy" comes from... lol... oh yeah and love a guy who knows how to let me be the man I know and love to be in a relationship pretty much...

And now the second part of my expectations which is also a big one that creates my unique idea of a perfect guy... yes there is two parts to my expectation... the physical side of it... which I think is the exterior attraction of it... personally I have never liked bigger guys then me, meaning muscular guys, cant be taller then me, love thinner guys... but of course not too thin... lol... no I'm not into fems, nothing against them but just dont want a guy who walks around puckering his lips all the time with lip gloss talking bout "my lip gloss is poppin" lol... love a guy who is well dressed and presentable, basically someone I can not be ashamed to take home to my momma, nationality really doesnt matter to me, of course well attractive guys with cute faces, facial hair isnt much of a turn on for me, love pretty boi faces, and biggest turn on on a guys face NICE FULL LIPS oh MAN!!!, I cannot stand hairy guys... a hairy chest is hot but not too hairy... I'm referring to hairy bottoms TURN OFF!!! love to sway my hand down the back of a guys back down to the crack of his ass and feel the smoothness of his ass nothing but smooth and round... and last since Im talking bout ass and shit... lol... yes the last one my favorite and Imma tell ya this... I have been called shallow for this one but hey its my "preference" just like some guys LOVE and need a guy with a big dick, this one is mine... and most of ya know this about me but Daddy is an ASS man... my partner NEEDS to have some junk in the trunk to get my attention... again, call me shallow but its my preference... that has always been something I need my partner to have to be with me... hey its a necessity for me to have... for reals... I cant picture myself being with someone who aint got cushion for the pushin... lol... just my preference ya...

So there you go... all in one nut shell... my expectations of a guy that would grab my interest and would be attractive to me...

But I'll say this last one thing before I end this... beyond my expectations in a guy... this is really more about me... and the reason why I'm single... I do, I honestly do have lots to offer, I have a huge heart, great family values, LOTTA love to give which my little one is the only man whos gettin it all right now lol... but of course thats a different kind of love... I consider myself a Man of great values, I'm a very intellectual Man, very sensitive when it comes to love, very loving and a very strong hearted Man, I treat my partner well when its real love, I love to provide that security in my partner to where they feel no one can hurt them, I have accomplished a lot in my life and have come very far to just settle for a guy that isnt of value or quality... I know I sometimes may sound like I do have this ego thats just up there but really its nothing like that... its really about having high expectations on a guy that I choose to let in my life... I have not let my past relationship keep me from meeting guys because I have dated, I have meet guys, I have given LOVE a chance but with all the wrong guys... guys who are insecure, ignorant, or simply are guys that aren't worth my time plain and simple...

If and when the time comes that I do meet the right guy hey I'm sure I will know it and I'm sure it will be perfect in my eyes... I have blasted on Twitter talking about FUCK LOVE and all its meaning but honestly no, I have not given up on LOVE... why wud I give up on the greatest power of all... Im just being particular of who to give my true love to... I'm sure I'll fall in love again and I'm sure it will be with the most amazing guy I have ever come to know... a guy who will be beyond the moon and stars beyond the heavens in a midnight dream this guy will walk with me where no other has walked with me before, he will be just the most beautiful thing I have ever come to know that it will bring tears to my eyes of the beauty of all his existence that he will bring to my life... okay okay let me stop before I start getting teary eyed... lol... wow just described the perfect guy... someday ya... some day... but until then... Daddy will continue to live and love the single life I live today...

P.S. LOVE ALL MY PUERTORICANS AND NEW JERKERS lol... please dont take no offense to this blog... have mad love for ya...