The following story you are about to read is based off of the true events that took place in a point in my life. Certain names or individuals were not identified in this story or their names have been changed for the protection of their identity. As always like in all of my true and real writings, the following is the untold truth of what I experienced through this story and what my experience was and how it changed me for the better. I would like to ask those who read my story to take a look and focus on the outcome of the story and the positive it had on my life and not the negative of this story.
In this story you will read the experience that lead to my arrest and being falsely accused on 17 counts and spent 2 weeks in California state county jail. In the end having plead “no contest” to the 2 counts they kept and having gone through the investigations where in the end they considered it “an innocent man who was only manipulated by an individual”.
I sincerely request that all judgments and negative perceptions on any individual in this story not be applied and simply take this story for the positive change to this world this story has been intended for.
Thank you -eVoN
This story began in the beginning of 2010... A certain guy had grabbed my attention back when Myspace was still a pretty popular site to visit and meet others. I had met a guy who grabbed my attention… his Myspace read: Single, Hispanic and 18... A distant attraction at the beginning after having met him… which very quickly turned into a sexual connection through the passing months. Months passed and one thing led to another and we became not only intimate but emotionally involved. The more I tried to avoid emotional connection with him the more I found myself being drawn into him for who he began showing me who he was. About a year had past and the year had flew by and it was around January when things became very serious for him and I. By this time it got to the point of asking him to move in with me in my apartment and its where the story of my life began…
He moved in and we began our life together as a couple… he showed me a side of him that I had never seen which is what truly grabbed my attention about him and its what made me fall in love, well in love for what I thought was true love at the time…little did I know he had kept a little secret from me hidden in his pockets of secrets. Around this time we had already been sexually involved and obviously emotionally connected when he dropped the bomb on me that he really wasn’t 18, he was just about to turn 17. Mind you I had already given him my heart and my commitment emotionally. I was frozen in my own surprise when he had shared that news with me, not only for that reason but also because he had betrayed me with a fake ID which at the time I thought was real, come to find out it wasn’t.
Obviously I knew this relationship could no longer be a relationship because not only was it illegal but I just couldn’t get comfortable with the idea of being with a minor, it just didn’t sit well with me at all… I became what you call paranoid about the relationship… and quickly my first thought was to get out of the relationship and away from him…which is what I tried but I clearly remember that first attempt… he threatened me with calling the police and of course never having experienced something like this I had no idea what the fuck to do… so of course I stayed and tried to make the relationship work which was my mistake but again I had no idea that there was a way out but of course I stayed through it only to go through the story of my life…
I would have come to try to attempt to leave the relationship about 4 times before we finally parted ways and of course on bad terms. Every time I tried leaving him he would always use that against me “You want me to call the cops” was his favorite line and with each time he used that, each time I fell into this lost and fearful emotion… here I was having to be with this minor and to be honest with you by this time I felt as if I was his prisoner… if I left him I’d get thrown in jail and my life would be over but if I stayed I felt I needed to put on a phony face to please him. I remember clearly one time breaking down in front of him asking him to let me go… and all he could reply with “fine go, too bad you’re gonna loose your car” and of course with that I asked him to come back only because I was terrified of loosing everything. Mind you I had never been through something like this in my life and didn’t know that in the end I would come to find out there was a way out.
Well months had passed and we had been officially together for about 4 months and by this time we had moved out of my apartment and I had moved my things into a friends house but still in the relationship with my boyfriend… at this time I’m staying with him at his moms house who knew that I was his boyfriend and dindt have a problem with it at all… I basically stayed there everyday and spent the night there and would only go to my friends house where my clothes were to get certain things and then I would head back to his house and stay there. That’s where the relationship became edgy because we were both under different stresses… me because I still had that hanging over my head and didn’t know any way out and him because of his family I mean come on we stayed in the living room on a sofa because it was only a one bedroom apartment where his mother, sister, sisters boyfriend and his little niece all slept, then on top of that the both of us in the living room… so of course it was bound to get stressful.
It was only about a month that I was there and before he did the unthinkable… during this month I tried to leave the relationship like 2 more times but of course I would only do a revolving door and go right back to him… until finally I was just fed up with all the bullshit that on May 27th the Friday before the long Memorial weekend… him and I had a fight where I let him get very verbal with me in expressing his feelings… he went all the way to making me feel like nothing… it may have been his frustrations with the whole situation of what had been going on at his mothers house and from how he saw the relationship diminishing… so I just simply sat back and let him vent it all out…I also remember him taking my phone and running off… I simply grabbed my things and took off to my car because I was ready to leave. Once I got to my car of course there he was waiting and emotionally frustrated. He vented some more as I looked up at him and said Im done…by this time I really didn’t care what he threatened me with that I simply said “keep my phone im done” in my mind I was just simply over the emotional bullshit of having to deal with someone who could hold something like that over your head. He kept my phone and I took off.
I didn’t hear from him the next day, the day after and even that holiday. I returned to work that following Tuesday and around 8:25am he called me at work talking about he was sorry for disrespecting me and saying all that shit. I told him I was over it and didn’t really care… he seemed to be still in an aggressive state of mind but then said “you can come pick up your phone during your lunch hour” I said that would be fine and hung up. Thinking of why wait around till lunch why not go pick it up right now… so I called him back to see if he was there so that I could just go pick it up and get it over with… when he picked up he seemed bothered and when I asked him if I could go pick it up he said he wasn’t home and to just go during my lunch hour… I said fine. Hung up and then about an hour later he called back saying he wasn’t going to be home that he would call me when he got home so that I can pick it up. By this time I got really pissed and frustrated that all I remember saying was “you know what keep the fucken phone I’m done” and hung up.
It was about 10:45am when I got a phone call at my desk from the front reception “can you please come out to the front” and with that I knew right away something wasn’t right… the reception desk had NEVER called me just to ask that…they would always tell me why they needed me to go to the front for a pick up or a customer. So as I’m walking out to the front desk something told me something wasn’t right, so I headed out a side door where customers do drop offs and through this door you can see the front lobby entrance so I decided to peek out of that door and to my surprise what do I see 4 cop cars. NICE… to this day it was the weirdest thing for me…for some reason I was calm and collect… I walked back to my desk to turn off my computer and close up my desk, even though I knew I was taking a little ride in my head I thought it wasn’t that serious and that maybe I’d be back to work that day, was I wrong.
As Im walking to the front all kinds of thoughts are going through my head, why did you do this, why me, I should have left him, my mom where is my mom, my little one I need my monkey… man it was the first time I had ever experienced that… thousands of thoughts running through my head in that moment. I remember walking through the double doors and seeing 4 cops in the lobby waiting for me as one asks me “are you Hector Hernandez” as I answered yes… he then said “can you please step outside” as Im walking out to the front of the building… I have to say it was the most degrading and embarrassing moment of my life… mind you I’m at work and as Im being escorted out by 4 police men, off to the left of the building was the sales department which of course they all got front row seating to my arrest, not to mention my boss was there all seeing me through the window… and on top of that some executives were walking out of the lobby at that time. “You are under arrest for being sexually involved with a minor” WHOOAAA this is a nightmare this is a fucken nightmare is what I kept thinking and all I remember was closing my eyes tight and hoping to wake up from a bad dream, but it was only the beginning of my nightmare come reality.
I was driven to Mission Hills police station where I was maliciously interrogated by two female investigators… I know its their job to mentally break you down but fuck that interrogation was the worst thing I had ever gone through… after a grueling hour of severe and very graphic questions they finally labeled me “a pedophile/child molester” its when my whole life turned into the biggest nightmare I had ever seen come to a reality right before my eyes. They began to ask me why did I rape him, why did I force him into having sex, why did I hurt him… questions that just kept getting worse and worse because none of it was true and none of it I had committed… I felt like I was falling into a dark hole where nobody even cared to hear my side of the story… after I told them what really happened they just looked at me and smiled…I clearly remember the investigators last sentence to me “so you’re going to stick with that story” and picked up her note book, the audio recorder and walked out of the room as a female cop walked me back into the holding cell as she began to say “if I were you I’d come clean with the truth”. What was I gonna say to her “bitch don’t get up in the mix this has nothing to do with you?” I had no choice but to keep my innocence and stand by the truth, which was my side of the story. But I guess in the state of California once a minor says something, you have no rights and you become what ever it is they say you were, which I will get into of how I feel about that later on in this story…
After spending about another hour in that holding cell, they finally transferred me to Van Nuys police station where they finally booked me on all sorts of charges. They had not told me yet by that time how many charges and what they were… so all I could do is sit there in that dirty stank room of a holding cell for about 3 days. They had scheduled me to go to court that Thursday. Of course being in that cell without windows or clocks or pretty much anything you go fucken crazy not knowing what time or day it is… during this time is when I was given a chance to call my roommate and have him help me… I have to say he was my strength through all of this… he’s the one that helped me get to where I am now… and I gotta say he was considered my guardian angel through all of this…he was the one that I kept in contact through the whole thing because I didn’t want my mother knowing, well at the time its when I seriously thought it was gonna be over pretty soon. He was the one that I called the few times I was given a chance to make a call which wasn’t too often.
Well Thursday morning came around and it was time for me to go to court, so around 3am these mothaphukers woke me and a couple of other inmates up to head to court. The process took about 3 hours and we were scheduled to be at court by 8... By this time I had already been given my wrist band of being labeled “special” and for those who don’t know the meaning of that, men who are labeled “special” in county are either gay or were involved with minors and the reason for that is that if they were to end up in main line they would probably not get out alive… especially those who were involved with minors… so there I was off to court and off to hear my fate the state of California would have for me. We got to the San Fernando Court House on time and they quickly moved us into the holding cell to be seen by the judge. Of course they broke me and some other guy into a separate room from the main line guys… in this other room there were 5 other guys in there all dressed in blue with the “special” wrist band like mine… in this room I would come to be in all fucken day for about 8 hours and in this room I would have met an Armenian guy who pretty much gave me the run down on what to do and not do in county. This is when I realized that I was not gonna be going home soon… reality slowly began to set in, in this room.
Finally after 7 hours in that room they called me up and it was when I had met my attorney for the first time. I walked up to the little room where I saw her behind a glass window as I looked at her and all she could do is shake her head and give me that look of bad news. I sat down and we both introduced ourselves as she quickly started telling me… “well I can tell you this doesn’t look good at all, you wont be getting out of here for a very long time”… its when she began to glance through the case and she even said “I haven’t really had much time to go through your case but just through the glance I had this doesn’t look good” its when I first had found out that the state of California was charging me on 17 counts of statutory rape, child molestations, forceful sexual entry, endangering a minor and so on… the list went on and I just could not believe what she was telling me, I broke down into tears as she kept making things sound worse and worse. Turns out that my so called boyfriend at the time really tried to finish me off by telling them I was the one forcing him into this relationship but of course my side didn’t matter to them.
See what made it easy for them to accuse me of all that he had told them was that on my cell phone we had taken pretty graphic pictures of us having sex and a video of him giving me oral sex as well…so with that they had hard evidence but little did they know the whole story behind the pictures and behind his lies. They didn’t know he manipulated me in this relationship. They didn’t know what had really happened and in cases like this your side doesn’t really matter and doesn’t mean shit… which to this day I think is fucken bullshit because cases like mine were very unique… the state of California wasn’t looking at the whole story, they just saw a poor little 17 year old crying his eyes out and saying I forced him into all this so of course they looked at that and not the reality of the story. I just remember my attorney asking me “are you admitting to those photos is all I need to hear” and of course I could not say it wasn’t me… so that’s where the case began and my life changed for good.
They rescheduled my case for the following week as my attorney said you will be in custody in county for now… so naturally not being ever in county or have ever gone through some thing like this I was shitting bricks by that time. So off I went to Los Angeles state county. I remember when they put my ass back in the bus to transport me to county, on the way there I had passed my moms house and its when I broke down thinking this was gonna be a very serious thing I was gonna go through and that I would not be seeing my family and even more my little one for a very long time. I couldn’t hold the tears back as we drove passed by my mothers house… it was a feeling I hope to never go through again, a feeling of all lost hope and endless fear of not knowing what was gonna happen next… it was the worst ride I ever had… knowing I was on my way to a place I had never been to and knew I never wanted to go but there I was on my way to county… its where the second part of this story takes place… this is where my life truly changed… its what this story is truly intended to be focused on… only reason the beginning of this story was even mentioned was because without the beginning, this second half would have not made sense… its where I experienced the horror of county jail…
It was around 5:30pm and we had just arrived at county and all 15 of us inmates un board the bus and walk into Twin Towers in the city of Los Angeles… mind you at this time I’m shitting bricks because all I see around me are these fucken street gangstas and fucken thugs that are use to this life and who would do shit to a mothaphuka to get to where they are… don’t get me wrong I wasn’t all bitched out and crying through this whole process I consider myself with a pretty strong mind to sustain a lot so I was koo in the beginning I kept it together during the medical check in and just getting in… it was up until checking in and finally changing from my street clothes into my blues, yes it was me and like 15 other inmates that had to strip down to nothing to change into our blues… county blues that is… and shit of course I had no problem stripping down to nothing shit I was more like yeah mothaphukas ya aint got shit on me… body and size fuck ya… lol… but little did I know it’s the last place you want to look good at lol…oh little did I know. As I remember changing into my blues I remember them walking us down the line over to medical which is where they evaluate you for any medical problems.
Im standing there and all I hear is my name being called but didn’t see who called me so I walk on over and the biggest dick head of a sheriff looks at me and says you come here as I look at him and ask “who me” and he replies “YOU’RE THE FAGGOT RIGHT” I wanted to say “How rude” but of course you cant say shit like that there so of course I was like yes sir I’m “the” faggot and walked over to him… man its when I saw that county was no joke and they had no respect for any mothaphuka inside… to them everyone there was guilty and the lowest of the low… turns out that some of these sherrifs already knew why I was there and like I said in the state of California child molesters or pedophiles are considered worse then murderers. So I got treated pretty bad in some occasions… called faggot and at one time by a female sheriff who looked at me and said “you make me sick” it was horrible to be in a place where everyone passed judgment on you with not even having a clue the truth and the real story. There were many times I wanted to burst out into tears but what kept me going was that I knew the truth and knew that in Gods eyes I was innocent of all the accusations I was being held responsible for…
Well after like 7 hours I was finally checked in through medical and find myself waiting in some waiting room where there was TV and it was in the open but with like 20 other guys… I sat down next to this guy who seemed pretty reserved and quiet… I sat next to him for about 10 minutes when he began to talk to me… “what you in for homie” and of course remembering the advice the one Armenian guy gave me back in the holding cell at the court to watch who I disclose my information to, I simply told the guy “bullshit homie fucken bullshit” and he turned to me and said “yup, its all bullshit around here homie” as he began to tell me his story… he had been arrested for position of drugs, he said his baby momma called the cops on him and that’s why he had been arrested… crazy part about that was that they had a 3 year old daughter who he said he had tried to give up the drugs for… as he’s sitting there telling me his story all I could do is see the pain in his eyes and the tears just held back… “you know homie, it was my daughter who could have saved me but I choose this life and its what brought me here” man I didn’t know what to say to him… I was no where near in any position to try to be the real me and give him some advice I was too emotionally fucked up on my situation so I just listened to him and his pain…
I think it was around 2:30am when they finally announced we were finally headed up the towers to our rooms so we can finally go to sleep… even though my body felt like it was just ready to give out and collapse my mind was still fully awake because of what was going on… so there we were walking up to the cells in the north tower… we make it to the cells and as they called our names one by one I noticed everyone was getting an open bunk in what they called the day room which was just an open area with bunk beds… when they called my name the sheriff looked at me and said “Hernandez, you get cell number 4” and so I looked over and saw this tiny little cell with a glass door with the number 4. I didn’t question the sheriff but in my head I was thinking why the hell am I the only one getting a enclosed cell… I walked in with hundreds of questions in my head as a female sheriff walked behind me and slammed the door and locked it. I didn’t know why the hell they had put me only in that cell and everybody else got to be in the open, come to find out after all this was over that they were looking at me as a man who committed a very serious felony and with 17 counts pinned on me they were giving me the worst, it was a true nightmare coming to a reality for me.
I remember waking up out of my sleep must have been around 2am and opening my eyes and just seeing through the knitted wool blanket I had and just hoping that when I uncovered my self I would be at home or waking up to my little ones laugh… but that was far from a reality, I woke up to an empty cell and a solid stone wall with the freezing 65 degree air conditioning blowing from the vent. It was a nightmare that I kept trying to wake up from but kept waking up and realizing that nightmare was no where near over… so all I remember thinking and trying to do was sleep but every fucken hour or two they would call out names of inmates because it was just a non stop thing of moving inmates in and out so there was a little speaker in my cell that would wake my ass up every hour… so even if I tried to sleep I would be woken up by the loud ass PA system… it began to take its toll on me mentally… everything slowly began to take toll on me, the psychological part of it started to break me down. What drove me inside in that tiny little room was hearing my little ones voice in my head and hearing him laugh and calling my name, uuughhh even to this day just thinking back to those moments I tear up… it was the hardest part of this…
I remember it must have been Friday night or Saturday night when I asked one of the inmates to make a phone call for me to my roommate… in which he did, the call went through and my roommate gave this guy some information little but it was something, but I wish I hadn’t found out that information because it only made things worse for me… my roommate told this guy that the investigators had gone to my roommates house where I was staying to collect and pick up things such as my camera and other cell phones to build a case against me… and with that I had no clue what they really went over to pick up to hold as evidence… but just knowing that they really were building a case against me sounded serious… so my mind began to run a thousand miles per hour… not knowing what really was gonna be my outcome on this. Was I really gonna stay there for a long time, were they really gonna believe all the bullshit he was telling them… my mind became my enemy… not only that but I guess because I didn’t get to hear my roommates voice it was the inmate who would walk back and fourth from the phone to my cell door obviously because I couldn’t get out of my cell… it was frustrated to not be able to hear my roommates voice and talk with him… I think its what really made that hard on me…later that night I would find myself trying to go to sleep but beyond that I would find myself emotionally fucked from everything that is going on, hearing my little one crying, my mother crying and all these voices talking to me… its when I found myself waking up in the middle of an anxiety attack gasping for air… I couldn’t take it and next thing you know I was rushed to the medical area of the dorms I was in… they were able to calm me down and gave me some medication I think adevan or something like that… which did calm me down… but none the less they kept monitoring me after that attack… it was the craziest thing, I had never had an anxiety attack in my life… was back in my cell and knocked out…
By this time I have lost track of time and obviously track of the days too.. Even though I had a tiny little slit of a window in my cell I couldn’t keep up with the days… it must have been Sunday morning when they called me out of my cell for a check up… in the nurses room I noticed the nurse kept staring at me, finally she asked, “this is your first time here isn’t it?” I replied “yes mamm” she walked into the doctors office and came back out with the doctor as the doctor said “I need you to be honest with me, have you ever had an anxiety attack before” as I replied “no mamm never” they went back into the office and then the nurse came back out and said okay you can leave. I never found out what the nurse said to the doctor that the doctor came out to ask me that… I went back outside to the waiting room to wait for the sheriff to escort me back to my cell when in the waiting room there was an inmate sitting there by himself I guess he had been seen by the nurse and was waiting like me… “sup homie” he said, “sup man” I replied… “aint this some shit” he said “the only TV we get and they put the home shopping network” I smiled and he started to talk about that when he gets out the first thing he’s gonna do is go to McDonalds and get some fries… I asked him how long he had been in and he said 2 years and then I asked him how long was he in for and he said 30... He looked to be in his mid 30’s or late 30’s all I could think of is dang this guys attitude was set on that moment when he gets out in 30 years he’s going straight to McDonalds… and here I was just wanting to see my little one… he then looked at me and said, “I saw that you’re in confinement” and I didn’t know what that meant… so I asked him what is that and he said, its when you commit a felony and you have a lot of counts… he said he knew because its what he had when he first got there, he was there for attempted murder. As the sheriff came out to escort me back to my cell, the guy looked at me and said “don’t regret anything you’ve done, because if you do you’re gonna go crazy in your own mind” I took that advice with me…
As the sheriff escorted me back to my cell I took the chance to ask her if it would be okay to go shower since I had not been given the chance to since I had gotten arrested which had been almost a week… she looked at me and said “okay, but im being nice so if you fuck this up you will never get out okay” she seemed to have a sensitive side a very caring side to her though she still had a tough side of course being a sheriff I think you need to. So quickly I went to my cell and grabbed my towel and ran upstairs to take a shower, as im taking my shower I’m rushing scrubbing everything very well because I didn’t know when I was gonna be able to take another one, I stripped down to nothing and used my underwear as a scrub to scrub it all down, I mean scrubbed it all down… that shower had to have been the fastest shower I had ever taken in my life… even though it was only a shower it felt like I had showered away a lot of emotional bullshit… I was still in the mindset of what the fuck is next and I think I was starting to slowing accept the fact that it was a very big possibility that I would not be getting out any time soon… well at least its what direction my mind began to go down.
As I came downstairs I noticed nobody in the day room where all the inmates were and the phone available so of course I grabbed the phone and called my roommate, he gave me a little bit of hope as I broke down on the phone begging him to get me out and begging him to pray for me… it was very emotional to have been able to talk to someone familiar after having been locked up like an animal and knowing that you probably wont be getting out anytime soon and really not knowing what was coming next… yes it was very emotional so obviously I was human and broke down on the phone, wanting to know if my mother was okay because she has health problems and to only imagine that her baby is locked up could have cause her to have some kind of attack and end up in the hospital and just the thought of that scared me and made it harder for me to think my mother could end up in the hospital because of all this… I had so many questions for my roommate because it was only a brief moment I got to speak with him, wanted to know about my car, my job, what my attorney had said to him… I really didn’t get much but the little that I did made me feel better… my roommate had informed me that my next court date was that coming Wednesday… and I think it was Sunday when I had talked to him. So for the next three days I would have come across many individuals that would change my life for good.
I think it was Monday morning after that disgusting poor excuse of a breakfast when they began to call all sorts of names including mine, they asked to grab all your shit and to come down to the front that we were being moved. Fucken happy to hear that I was being moved from that shit hole of a cell but not knowing where they were moving me to I was just happy to be out of that fucken cell. They took about 12 of us down to another holding cell… and threw my ass into another cell which pissed me off, you mean ya moved me from one fucken cell to move me into another one… aint this some shit I thought to myself… so frustrated and just ready to give up I sat there for a couple hours when they called me out again and said bring your stuff… that’s where my journey got crazy and I saw shit I will never forget… turned out that I was only in temporary holding and I was on my way to permanent housing… but before I got to my destination of permanent housing I would have to go through classifications… man the craziest place… so I thought… they transferred me into a little room with 3 other guys, one a baldy (pelon), another a black queen, and the third a Hispanic quiet guy with long hair… there the bald guy and the black queen were pretty cool, they began to tell me what was to come next which is what they called 3500 a big dorm where all mayhem lives and you are set free to do what ever the fuck you want… the black queen said yeah it’s the shit you’re gonna like it, I looked at him “like it” mohtaphukah I want to go home… he made it seem like it was just one big fuck fest and all sorts of crazy shit went down… sure didn’t sound like it was something I wanted to look forward to.
Couple of hours there they then transferred me to a holding cell where it was pretty crazy, in this room they didn’t care if you didn’t anything… no sheriff to look after us nothing, I gotta say it was pretty chill but what I saw happen there was pretty disturbing… in this room there must have been like 15 people, couple of them were transgender, two or three blacks, couple of Hispanics and whites… there the two transgender kept hitting on me and trying to play nice with me… I was not having it… I kept telling them I wasn’t there for fuck around… hells na… I was there on false accusations and wanted to get out but was definitely not there to fuck around. So they left me alone and I began to talk with one of the black guys he told me his story of how he ended up there… it must have been midnight or something everyone was asleep and it was just him and I up talking… what a story he had… his mother had abandoned him from the age of 12... She was a drug user and he was on his own since then, he was forced to raise himself and of course not having parents there he had his fair share of fuck ups… which is what lead him there… on armed robbery and possession of a drugs… he said he had a little baby girl with his baby momma but his baby momma always made it hard for him to see her… he would not allow him to see her because of who he was… he said he knew his life was crazy but even more he knew he probably would never see his baby girl again because he was either gonna get shot or die of a drug overdose… man it was crazy laying there listening to his story… was sad… really sad.
Before I would leave that room in the morning I would have kicked off of my bunk by one of the trannys who wanted to get fucked by me and when I refused she got one of the Hispanic guys to fuck her on the bunk I was sleeping on… I jumped off that bunk because I wasn’t gonna stay there to see that nasty shit… and since there were no more bunks available I would find myself hurtled on the cold cement floor falling asleep. Next thing you know the door flys open and morning crept up as they called one by one out, they were going to interview us one by one to see where on the gay scale we were… it was called classification. In this area they asked me all sorts of questions such as do you know what a glory hole is, what is bareback, what about a circuit party? All sorts of questions about the gay world and they also asked me a lot of questions about who is Daddyhexxx I was like are u serious… no joke…I guess they investigated everything about me and of course that was gonna come up…they also kept asking me if I was sure if I was gay or not they wouldn’t believe I was… they thought I was just trying to get over to the gay side… so for that they threw me in the lowest dorm considered there which was 3500, they said that’s where all the fuck ups go and where all the guys who don’t appear to be gay go too… well lucky me I got to go there… me and one of the black guys were thrown into this dorm… it was like out of a movie… the minute we walked in all sorts of things were going on… just this big ass party like place… so you know my ass was shitting bricks… next thing you know they take the black guy back out because there wasn’t enough room in that dorm so Im the only new guy in this dorm…
I seriously thought I was gonna get eaten alive… I tried putting on my “yeah im tough street guy mothaphukah” face but it didn’t work… as I get to my assigned bunk and I begin to put my blanket up and my stuff some short black guy creeps up and gives me that look like im either gonna fuck you up right now or I want some… that little shit creeped up and said, na im just fucking witchu brotha… as he introduced himself “I’m Jessie” what’s yours… he broke it down to me that everything there was pretty chilled and laid back, he introduced me to some kats there and for a minute I was thinking it was gonna be alright… at this time I meet some Hispanic guy who happened to know an old friend of mine from way back when I use to party in the 90’s… I pretty much kicked it with him the whole time I was there… he told me that yeah this place may seem koo and chill but at night is when all the shit happens… so he said if someone wants to fuck around with you they will make it obvious at night… I was like great… and sure enough that night a tranny walked up to my bunk when everyone was asleep and said “ey, I wanna suck yo dick pa… you down” and of course not being there for that I refused… as I refused with the other transsexuals earlier that day… but this tranny wasn’t taking no for an answer… she actually got bothered and said “if you aint gonna fuck wit me then you gonna fuck wit me” I had no idea what the fuck that meant but I tell you it scared the fuck out of me… I was like great am I gonna be this trannys fucken bitch here… I was like oh hells na… that night I slept with one fucken eye open because I didn’t know what this bitch had planned…
Well Wednesday morning came and it was my court date… so I was called up early that morning as I whisked off at 3am from my bunk and at that time I think is when the ones that have court get up… so of course they wake up everybody… as my name was called to head out everyone was yelling out good luck, don’t come back… good luck don’t come back… I kept thinking in my head God please please please let this be the last time I come back to this place… all I could do is simply pray and pray… they got me ready and all chained up and ready to transport me back to San Fernando court house… there were like 30 inmates waiting to go to court but only three of us headed to the San Fernando Valley court house… so they tossed us three into the bus as we waited for like an hour until the main line joined us and we were off to the court house. As we were waiting for the main line to board the bus and it was just me and the other two inmates on the bus the song “My Girl” came on the radio and there was this line in that song that for some reason gave me hope… it was “I got sunshine on a cloudy day, when its cold outside I got the month of may” with that line like I said for some reason gave me so much hope for that day… it was my little hope that I kept with me and kept it with me all the way to the court… yeah as cheesy as that may sound it was my little hope…
Well there I was back at the court and back in that one holding cell with like 5 other guys, this time I didn’t wait too long to be seen when the sheriff came in the cell and called my name… I was escorted up to the court room where I met up with my attorney for the second time before walking into the court room and having my sentence read out to me… my palms are sweaty and im nervous as hell, all I kept saying in my head was please lord please help me, be with me and let justice be served… all I could do was pray and pray and pray… finally I’m back at that little window in my blues and chained up and my attorney is sitting there… she looks at me and says… “okay so heres the deal, I wasn’t able to drop any counts and they want to press the charges as they were but, the good news is that they believe you are NOT a pedophile and know this kid was just a punk out to get you” even though I was still scared that they were holding the 17 counts it was a relief to know that they weren’t labeling me a pedophile anymore… it was such a relief to know that they had done their investigation and saw this kid was just out to do me dirty. She then said Im trying to negotiate this with them so before we make this final I want to see what I can do… she then said “you’re whole family is here to support you, your mother, brother sister and some cousins along with your roommate” my god the most beautiful words I heard, to know that my whole family had gone to support me gave me the biggest hope ever.. To know they were there to back me up 100%… she then said that looks good on your end… however I’m going to see what I can do about the rest.
She left and I waited in agony as I prayed like I have never prayed in my life… I think God got irritated with me with so many prayers I had sent his way… I asked him to please watch over me to help me through this… to see me out of there… after a tormenting 20 minutes she came back and said… okay GREAT news, I got them to drop 15 of the 17 charges… and they dropped the time from 2 years to 98 days in county… I was still not having it… I mean 98 days was way better then 2 years… but still I didn’t belong there… so I said okay fine look… Im fine with that but only thing is that I cannot go back to county and she asked why, I then said that I felt sexually threatened there because of what I had seen… she then looked at me and said well damn that changes everything in this case… okay okay let me see what I can pull… so she left again and I waited for another 20 minutes… finally she came down and as I looked at her she gave me this look of relief and gave me the okay signal with her fingers. As I walked up to the window and sat down she said… okay so I ran into one of the chairman who I go way back working with… who basically helped me in the case and was able to do the biggest favor my attorney had ever seen… they dropped 15 of the 17 charges, they dropped the 2 years and left me with 78 days, they dropped the registrations, they dropped the fines and they approved the house arrest so the remainder of my time was approved to complete under house arrest instead of county. I BROKE DOOOOOOOWN BITCHES… I BROKE DOWN…
The happiest I have ever been in my entire life to have heard those words… I was pronounced innocent of 15 of the 17 counts they were pinning on me… and they had dropped everything pretty much…I just wanted to run out and hug my family… only reason the kept two of the counts is because of my cell phone, technically I had had sex with a minor under the circumstances but the important part was that I was not considered a pedophile and innocent of all the phony charges of child molestations… which was the biggest relief for me because if I would have been convicted of all that bullshit I would have never been able to be or see my little one ever again… which I just could not imagine going through that, he is my world and he was my strength through all of this… his little face is what kept me going… him and along with my family and of course the help of my roommate that I am grateful for to this day because if it wasn’t for him I don’t know if I would have come this far…
Well the had taken me into the court room where the judge made it final and clear what the charges were and of course my probation of 3 years of never committing the same thing and not going anywhere near him meaning my x… and trust me, like I told my attorney that would NOT be an issue for me at all… the bailiff walked me back down to the holding cell where I waited for maybe 2 hours before getting called and asked to remove my county clothing as I was given this Missy Elliott looking black jump suit… I signed my release papers and they took my information and escorted me out to the back of the building where the house arrest monitoring center clerk was waiting for me to install the damn ankle bracelet on me, as I was sitting there getting it put on my ankle there was a sheriff there and out of all the dick head sheriffs I came across in county he was the only cool one… he looked at me and said, “man what ever it was you did your ass better have learned from it… just remember what you went through to get here, make sure you don’t ever come back” I looked at him and said I wont sir… I promise I will never come back. They opened the meta gate to the back of the court house where my family was waiting for me… as I walked out in the black jump suite I saw my mom, brother and sister waiting for me… my brother gave me the biggest hug and said “glad your out fucker” then when I turned to my sister she ran up to me and hugged me so tight and said “I missed you punk” her and I lost it… we shed tears like never before, as I kissed her on the cheek and said “I missed you too” I then turned to my mother and it was one of those moments where a grown man goes back in time to being that little boy who was so attached to his mother and after not seeing her for a long time runs up to her and cries uncontrollably with racing emotions… yeah that’s what happened in that very moment, I turned into that 5 year old little boy who missed the hug and embrace of his mother… my mother and I just held each other so tight and in tears like I we had not seen each other in years. It sure was a moment in life that I will remember for the rest of my life… its when I knew everything was over and everything was gonna be okay…
It wasn’t until they drove me to a cousins house where they were staying where my little one was, that I was gonna find myself thanking God with all my heart for giving me that second chance to prove myself and to this world that I was gonna be a changed and different man… we pulled up to the parking lot as I waited in the car with my mother for my sister to bring out my little one… when I hear “teto, teto teto” which is what he calls me, I ran out that car so fast to run to the little open arms of my little one as I squated down as he ran into my arms so fast that he hit his little face on my shoulder… as he began to cry because his little mouth hit my shoulder I began to cry just hearing that same cry I heard in my head as I was locked up, it was the same cry that made me go crazy and at the same time it was the same cry that helped me get through it… I thanked God in that very moment for allowing me to have my little one back and all that I had prayed for… I just could not stop hugging him so tight, I thought for a brief second that I wasn’t going to see him for a long time… now that was the most perfect moment in life for me…
In the end my supervisor ended up fighting to keep my job because HR wasnt wanting me to return to work because I was arrested at work not only that but because there were 10 cop cars all together that showed up that day of my arrest. I kept my car thanks to my sister, brother and mother who helped pitch in to pay my payment that month and now slowly back getting back on track... this story took me through the craziest and most emotional journey I had ever been through in my life… and for those that know me know that I have had some very powerful experiences in my life but this one was by far the most powerful one. To this day I remember it as if it was just yesterday that it happened and its so vivid in my memory but I know its something that will stay vivid for the rest of my life… in the end with after everything I went through from the betrayal of my x to the degrading and hostile treatment and judgments from everyone along the way to what I saw in county and all the stories I came across from all them inmates this story definitely changed my life permanently and believe me when I say for the better of course.
I know that I had to go through this to open my eyes not only reflecting on my own life but how I live it too… the most valuable thing I took with me from the experience in county was that the one thing that was very obvious in jail was the way we raise our children today has to change and we as parents need to apply ourselves more to the upbringing of our children and add a little more love… its what all them inmates in there lacked, the guidance and touch of a loving parent or guardian… it’s the reason why a majority of them ended up there and wont be getting out anytime soon, as parents we need to show our children the true values in life and show them the way so that when they grow up they don’t end up in county just adding to the thousands that go to jail on a daily basis… not only that but on the choices we as individuals make in our lives… learning from our mistakes and bettering ourselves for our own futures. Knowing that yes sometimes in life we need to fall to learn but further then that knowing what right choices to make to keep us away from loosing our ability to live free in this country… and much worse loosing our freedom for the rest of our life to spend it in that place no human deserves to spend the rest of their life in. So before you think of committing that crime, or simply acting upon a thought that just might get you caught up in that predicament think twice about it and simply walk away… its really not worth it.
As for my x, haven’t spoken to him or anything since the day I got arrested… I will be honest that he does cross my mind here and there and all that we went through… for a second I started to think that all that I gave into that relationship and energy was all a waste but now I know it wasn’t all a waste… I rediscovered myself and now I stand as a greater man then I was a month ago… I don’t regret anything as I learned through this and beyond that I hold no grudge upon him at all… like I once posted on my face book, that if he were to call me somehow and ask for forgiveness I would totally do it with all my heart and only wish the best for him… honestly I don’t hold anything against him for what he did… he’s a youngster so I really don’t… in the end yeah I found out that I could have gone to the police and tell them the story that he was threatening me and I would have not gone through what I did but all in all I’m glad I went through what I did, it only made me appreciate life 10 times more and all its values such as my health, my life and my loving and beautiful family… I wish him nothing but the best in his life to come and if this story ever gets to him… remember these last words “Jump High, I Wont Ever Let You Go”… live in today and thrive for tomorrow… DON’T EVER STOP LIVING…
-eVon
